Recently, or rather lately as the title states, I have experienced this somewhat ludicrous feeling that I’m dying or about to die, at least. Yes, I may have been overreacting to that sickness I had and yes, I’m also stressfully stressed but why on Earth will I feel that way? And of all the times, why now?
In a weird way, even I don’t even know the answer myself.
I mean, in the past years, I have experienced way more hardships than I experienced in these past couple of months but it seems as though these past couple of months have led me to think about the future and what it holds for me. For the first time in my life, I’ve gone from a guy who’s saved from extinction to a guy that is seemingly in the stocks, begging for mercy and just wishing for the restless torment to stop. I know that we got nothing to fear but fear itself but… I’m scared.
I’m scared of what my grades will be this semester after a disastrous four or five month stint in class. I’m scared of what lies in store in my lovelife, if there’s any (Lord, promise me you’ll give me babies, pwetty please). I’m scared of all the hate, the criticisms, the imperfections and all there is in-between those two and I’m finding it very difficult to stand up.
But listen, you can’t keep on sitting down and looking at those successful people. The pursuit of happiness doesn’t start a month from now, tomorrow or even later. It starts at this very moment. And though, albeit most of us are scared and most of us can’t stand standing up yet falling down a few minutes later due to criticism, remember that nothing came to those who didn’t try. For worrying will only get us so far. Worrying will just lead us to our own downfall. Worrying is worthless.
So if you feel anxiety now, pull-back a bit and relax. Drink a cup of coffee or something. Clear your mind. Go out with your friends or better yet just go out. Start hoping again. That’s what I did. And I’m slowly and surely regaining my form again.
I guess we all shouldn’t be scared, I mean, this is life. We must be responsible for our actions and we just gotta live with every moment we’ve got and be confident that there’s a world out there that’s destined for us. Hope my friends, believe.
PS: Happy 300th post to me! The next celebratory post will be on my 500th post so it’ll take a while. Anyway, as promised, you’ll be getting posts with .gifs soon! Stick and stay for that. Taglish posts and a new theme shall also be in order! Yipee!