In my 16 years in life, I’ve realized a lot of things, a lot of virtues, a lot of mistakes and most of all, a lot of regrets yet there is one thing that never really thwarted my mind until my only sister got to my Alma Mater. I maybe exaggerating but I really can’t help getting this feeling that I’m usually left out on acknowledgments whatever the hell I do? Is it really because I’m in the middle of 3 children? Or is it because, I’m the only one who they don’t seem to see? But wait, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want all the attention, I just want them to not treat me as someone who’s invisible.
There are a lot of sayings with regards to being a sort black sheep when being the middle child; a few of these include the “Middle Child Syndrome”, in which the middle child is the black sheep in the whole family (while the other two being perfectly sane and reasonable), the “Middle Child Being Left-out” in most cases in life then having different problems coping up in the long run and the “Bad Future with Middle Children” which is way self explanatory. Those few statements are implying that if you’re a middle child, you will fall whatever the hell you do. Perhaps, it depends in the of parents way of handling children of course, but when in the middle, there’s this feeling of getting a curse y’know and it’s not a good thing. Believe me, I’m a middle child (well you probably noticed that) and it’s hard to be among two people that constantly get attention. Anyway, have you ever wondered why a few, if not most (if not all) of the middle children have those kinds of problems stated above? Well, to give a bit of an insight, I’ll give you a glimpse of what happens in my life.
Ever since I was in Nursery, I’ve tried my very best to honor my parents in such a way that I don’t give a damn about me anymore, what’s for them, I give them. My sister and brother? I don’t really know. I’m not hating on my bro and sis, believe me, I love those guys but it’s just that, I think I’ve been giving way more effort in making them proud and stuff and yet they rarely notice my efforts. It’s like I have to gain a Cum Laude (it’s not impossible but damn is it hard!) before I totally get them to notice me! Another thing, my bro is a soon-to-be-engineer, a dream my father always wanted to achieve but couldn’t due to unforeseen circumstances and what the hell am I? A psychologist! A job that doesn’t have a clear future yet! (I’m sulking on Accountancy now but I’ll get to that soon) And now I’m guessing, the curse is true, that curse wherein I’m the black sheep and the 1st son/daughter will inherit the fortune & responsibility while the 3rd son/daughter will inherit the love & care…
Life in the middle is hard and as you can imagine, I go through a lot everyday to cope through all this but I guess once you’re used to it, being taken for granted won’t really get in your head. Sometimes, it won’t even affect you and all you’ll see yourself doing is living the dream of your parents without regret that you might have to maintain whatever reputation you have with them. Life in the middle is hard but it opens you to the fact that being neutral won’t get you nowhere, you have to prove yourself and be someone to be able to make it out alive.
Isn’t it nice to hope? to dream? to wish? Isn’t it nice to see all you want to happen come true and see yourself in a vision of your wonderland? Well, I know it is, I’ve been there! And so have other people I’ve known especially on one specific date that won’t happen again for 100 years.
November 11, 2011 @ 11:11:11am/pm. So what’s with this date? This date is, as crazy as it sounds means a lot to people and it’s so crazy ‘cause the people who don’t usually believe in wishes, chance-encounters and stuff are actually those that made this day special. It actually includes me, though I am not a firm believer of wishes and stuff, I tried to sulk up all my mantra(say what?) for I was in this epic state of desperation.
During this day, people actually hold on to that sliver of hope that their wish will surely come true and as silly as it sounds, some, if not most, wished twice to ensure that they get what they want! It might be okay if they wished for something like an overall better health for the family, a job in the future, guidance in actions but what if they just wished for grander pastures, lots of money for shopping and a boy/girlfriend? What would those other people that believe in something much more needed in real life think? I mean, not to hate on classy gents and gals but that is just wrong. Materialism has never been my middle name and I stay by that belief until someone proves me that everything can be bought. Anyway, in a bit of reflection at the end of this day, I thought that people should have wished for a reason, a much deeper reason to live rather than just to live life in bliss and enjoyment, maybe something with a much more deeper sense of purpose like health, happiness and all those around you.
So what did I actually wish for? Check my former articles, I think that you’d find the answer to what I wished for very quickly and yes, I ain’t kidding. I’m putting my full faith and hope that this one will happen ‘cause I know it’s for the good of all if not most of the people that are close to me. Remember this, I’d go through everything to get my wish to come through even if I’d have to pray to all the saints, do a pilgrimage to wherever, do a thousand cranes or even work at the library on Saturdays & Sundays… Y’know why? It’s because this wish or rather these wishes that I take is my only hope.