Let’s admit it. We have made and done a lot of stuff in the past that we regret. We have also done a lot of stuff in the past that we will surely never forget. Though in the midst of all this nostalgia about our so-called important events like breaking-up, standing up again and so-on and so-forth about the relationship stuff, there have been a lot of things that have changed. Think about it for a second, what were you in your past years? And to put more emphasis in the change, what are you now?
Well, lemme tell you a little background of what has happened to me in the past which is a bit personal but heck, I’ve shared a lot of personal stuff with y’all in the past right? ;) I just hope I don’t regret writing this down! Just kidding!
Anyway, it’s been almost four years since I’ve ended my freshman year in high school and just recently, I’ve just ended my freshman year of college. Upon a bit of analysis (or reflection, whatever you call it), I’ve found out that almost everything about me has changed. For example, my height and my inability to play basketball! Back then I was just this 4 feet 11 inch boy that hardly knew anything about playing basketball and now, I’m this 5 feet 5 inch guy that can regularly hit mid-range J’s with a slight consistency (I still suck though). But as I’ve said in a post I’ve done back then, there’s still this certain essence or role in a person that doesn’t change whatever the hell you do. And as you might have guessed, I’ve found out mine. It isn’t gaming. It isn’t video-making, sports, writing or music either. It’s telling stories and sharing my life. I never noticed it before but after taking some stress of my head and being nostalgic for a moment in time, I’ve realized that inspiring people and making people move-on has truly been my role and I doubt that it’ll change anytime soon.
Anyway, enough of my life and more on the observations.
In our current time, life’s been hard. Technology continues to improve and improve. Innovation’s taking a huge up-heave. Economy’s getting crappier and crappier. Education is simply becoming some sort of bad yardstick for intelligence and potential and love has been but an aging tale of fantasies and inconvenient lies. And subjects in school are simply become a pain in the butt. God, a lot has really changed in the years! And as we age and as we realize the different ironies this life has to offer I hope we don’t forget that our parents age too. Albeit a lot of the youngsters these days don’t even pay dividends to those that gave them life so yeah, that’s another change too. In addition to that, the general taste of musical rendition in the world is asunder. Imagine that in a span of four years, there’s actually been four (according to my belief) huge changes in musical taste for us teens! From Pop to Rock to Soul and now Party Music (which I can’t seriously compared to true RnB)! Heavens, what has the world become?! If back then it was a little off, and now it’s as good as a broken glass what might happen in the future years to come?
Well, let’s hope Freshman Future can answer that. And I hope the real change comes soon. A change that’ll hopefully benefit mankind.
The Final Remedy - a remedy that comes from pure dedication to change for the betterment of ones self and for the removal of his or her fears, set upon a certain and important date in time.
In my 17 years in the world, I must say, I have been very gullible. And yes, I mean, very gullible. I’ve never found a cure to this sickness that I currently have but in these past few weeks, I’ve found out that I was gullible for a reason. A reason that roots from my high expectations that was brought down to me. A reason that shows the tantamount fear I have of failing and not being able to keep up with the status quo. The same reason that lead me to quickly judging myself as a black sheep therefore making my life a bit difficult to live by.
Guess what? It’s what I thought I had but didn’t have all along. You’ve probably heard of it, or you’re probably lacking or full of it. It starts with self, has a dash and ends with a steam.
Yes folks, I have found out that I lack self-esteem. And that all that self-esteem I thought I had was fake all along and that all I had was a simplistic mocking of what little I had to the others who didn’t have it. Imagine that every advantage I could take, I did take just to gain a bit of leverage against others. Heavens, I never thought I was this cruel, but heck, now I sure am. I mean, if there was any person that sacrificed his life for the full benefit of others, that would be me but upon further analysis of the past things I’ve done, I actually did those things because I needed something.
Attention, sympathy, respect, you name it. And yes folks, I am ashamed and I need a remedy. A remedy that will help me clearly define who I am inside and a remedy that will remove me of this pressure in me. A remedy that will destroy the demons that are lingering inside my mind that quite frankly lead me to do things one could never think of me. A final remedy that will cure the cause of my endless strife up to this day and a remedy that shall hopefully lead me to renewed heights.
Hopefully, this should be the last I see of you fear and gratuitous amounts of self-doubt for starting March 23, 2012, I vow to all the people I love and the future of the children that I will marry, that I will change for good. No buts, no outtakes, just pure change of heart. This shall be my chance encounter, a definitive remedy that will change me and show the strength I truly possess within.
There is this point in life where a person doesn’t know whether or not he or she is ready to accept defeat or continue to take the risks. Let’s call it the Pause Point. The pause point is that certain stage in life that a person needs to make a choice, to make use of his chance to make a change. The decision is tantamount, and doubts are often in one’s mind after the decision, after all, it is a pretty big decision.
But why would I call it a pause point if we can’t even stop time?
Because it is the right time a person has to think. The right time the person has to put his or her head down and reflect. The perfect time to be humble. It’s that time where a person has to think of ways to make himself actually produce something out of nothing from a certain situation. It is also the same time when a person needs to step-up and make the right and mature choice to invoke a change.
There have actually been a lot of cases in a person’s life that involves these pause points, but I’m guessing none really take into account the gravity that a certain situation can do. For example, let’s say that a person who just came graduated high school chose to not enter college that year and take a rest. That my friends would be a waste of time. A wasted possession in basketball. ‘Cause in that moment you refuse to go to school in a year is that moment that you don’t seize an opportunity. Remember that you don’t know what’s going to happen the next day, the next month, or next year. You can’t control time and you can’t be sure if the next minute you step in there’s gonna be something left for you. So take a hold of what you can have & can do now!
Make a choice, seize a chance and invoke a change.
Running, it has always been a thing of mine since I play basketball and all, but a 5 kilometer run? Now that’s what I’ve never tried to achieve! But today, I have finished a 5 kilometer run without stopping, probably with a bit of brisk walking but you get the point. Anyway, I’ll try to get straight to the point with this article since I don’t want you to see my ranting like totally.
Anyway, the day started of very well with me getting my smooth bones on. I was a little late on my schedule but I made it through a friend’s house to get free transportation since my dad was a bit busy with work. There was this slight problem though… We had to leave a man behind. My friends’ companions had this slight fear that they will not be able to start the marathon in time but might have been a little bit too punctual, so we kind left my other friend. I personally didn’t care about my punctuality during that time since I paid for the race to be able to help Pasig River and make a video for my Youtube account but since that happened, what transcended that day became way different from what I expected. It was sad leaving my friend behind since I care about those that get left behind rather than those who are already on their way ‘cause y’know I know the feeling of getting left behind that’s why I never leave people behind, but how come this time, I made a disastrous choice by going with a person who already has companions? I pondered that question in my head while my friend, his family, and I rode the car. The ambiance in the car was different for me since I really felt bad at that time but what made me even more feel bad was that the people inside the car were even more concerned about punctuality rather than a person who is alone, though late! It troubled me, for in that time I knew something must have been wrong with society and as I stepped off the car after we parked in some place near the running route, I swore to never leave a person behind ever again. That just isn’t my thing and it never will be.
Anyway, I had to put my running face on so I put aside all my worries for a while and ran for fun and for the Pasig River. It was an awesome experience running! And what made it more special was the fact that I was searching for a few people, specifically actors so that I could bring home something for SC(click this for StainlessChamporado’s link)! In the end though, I didn’t get to have a short commercial for SC and I ended up being alone for a while since I lost my friend (the same one who owned the car) during the marathon. In addition, almost everything went wrong that day and it was like everything I planned burned to ashes and I seemingly saw myself again, alone and broken to bits.
In the end, I reflected on what transpired that day and asked myself “was this day suppose to be an awesome?” And yeah, it didn’t feel like it. Sure, it was nice running, and this will surely NOT be my last run, but in the coming runs, a full set of friends would be nice? I don’t wish for another run wherein I will experience yet another “epic lose situation” by not finding hot girls, not having an awesome time with friends and not getting a video for SC all at the same time. A replay of 11/20/11 would’ve been awesome but me losing my racing bib must’ve been God’s way of telling me to stop planning stuff and just keep letting things happen ‘cause that’s how things are suppose to happen right? Perhaps life is just like a marathon, all things & persons must flow by their own course and way.
It’s this time of the year that us students find out whether we made the cut or not, whether we got a high grade and all and whether we’re still eligible to carry on to the next pyramid block of our lives yet there is thing one thing that I hate so much about this season. “The D-List”.
In reality, what is “The D-List”? I mean, it could be “The Dead List”, “The Duos List”, “The Debt List” or “The Dean’s List”. As you might have guessed it’s the last one and though I’m proud to say that I’m a part of that list, I guess that I’m just really stressed out by the people that are making it a Big D-eal. It’s like when they don’t get to that damn list, they’ll succumb to an extreme illness or something. Hey, I maybe exaggerating but that’s from what I’ve observed in these past few weeks of grading. (If you wanna know more about the Dean’s List click here)
You know what comes with “The D-List”? The other list with the capital D which I myself proclaim “The Douche List”! The Douche List is a group of self-proclaimed higher-class people who constantly want to be on top. They’re making life, love-life and academics among other categories, extremely hard on themselves for they consider it a part of their mission (You prophet or somethin’?) . I mean, yeah, it’s way awesome if you sincerely offer some categories (academics, writing and other talents) to someone (preferably your parents, guardians and mentors) but if you don’t then it’s a way of proving yourself to yourself. You get that fulfillment that you’re better than somebody else and that’s good for you. That’s the problem with this world, I mean yeah, that “Jesse J” girl might say that it may not be about the money (oh that’s another great topic, I’ll get to that) and the world does not have price tag but it’s still an arms race! Everyone constantly wants to be on top for they want power, fame, glory and all those good stuff. Nobody really cares about just living a simple life anymore for they call themselves failures when they fail once and disappoint people. Life is not like that. Life is all about falling down then walking again and as I’ve once said, “You may have never walked at all if you’ve never fallen over and over and over again!” So don’t bind yourself to society, don’t be a failure by simply binding yourself to making life perfect. Make your life an adventure (and no I’m not saying fail every damn subject you can in school) and live life to the fullest. Something out there is fit for you, find it and live with it. Don’t be part of the “Douche List” or strive for just being in the “Dean’s List”, go for gold and be in “D’Awesome List” which is a list of people who lived their life being a different person with different ideals than the in-crowd (oh yeah, I’ll get to this one too) and made a change to the world. Make a change my friend, don’t just strive for something that won’t last for generations to come. Live, be marry, offer your life for something!
So what list are you gonna be in my friend? :)
1. Be Interested in Who You are Not
Part of being truly happy and free is being interested in the mystery of all that we are not.
Becoming clearer about who we are notallows us to de-layer, empty, and let go of the conditioning that doesn’t serve us. We come closer to touching our true essence, our absolute nature.
I’ve discovered pieces of who I am not at various stages of my life.
Like when I had spiritual experiences and labeled myself a “spiritual person,” only to discover I cared a great deal more about what it means to be my best as a human.
Or when I wanted to be a teacher because I wanted to feel like I had “arrived,” yet overlooked the benefits of lifelong learning.
Or when I published my first book, sent it out into the world, and realized the many years I committed to it were over. Almost the next day after my book release, I felt the call to explore something new and write my next book on an almost entirely different subject.
It’s about having a shift in perception and letting go of what we thought we were but no longer are.
Even though you may not have a direct answer when you contemplate who you are not, it’s still worthy. It may encourage you to keep being interested in the exploration of you, to investigate the mystery of yourself, to hear your greater call and listen.
2. Don’t Take Things Too Seriously
Real happiness and freedom come when we remind ourselves to lighten up, to not take our reactions, feelings, desires, or thoughts that feel important so seriously.
Try this: Don’t believe me. Don’t believe anyone else. Don’t believe yourself.
Try not to hold onto your present experience for dear life, because it will change. I try to observe when I use my present experience to build myself up, or manipulate it to show me in a certain light, or try to make something more out of it than it is.
Every once in a while, laugh a little at yourself, at the funny workings of your mind, how silly they can become when you take things oh-too-seriously, and keep a sense of hum
3. Be True to Yourself
On average, Americans have approximately 3–5 careers a lifetime. Why is this so?
Because we are constantly evolving, constantly changing, constantly learning more about ourselves. We wear a hat, try it on, get a degree, a promotion, commit years, weeks and hours and then realize there is something else we want that feels more in alignment with who we really are.
Somewhere, somehow we were taught that life shouldn’t change, that no one really changes, that we are the same person now that we were as an infant. And in some sense this is true.
We came into this world without any of the conditioning we developed in the years to follow. We were pure—brought into this world with a certain DNA that had a purpose and the trick is to discover it.
The more we are true to ourselves, the closer we are to happiness and freedom.
4. Have the Courage to Live Life Fully
What if you lived life fully? Engaged your dreams fully? Didn’t cheat it and just went for it?
What if you kept finding your edge? Stopped playing it safe and stretched a step beyond your comfort zone?
What if it didn’t matter what will happen later because you know that it will change?
And this is where I get a little heavy, but only for a moment for this too will change. As humans we know our lives will eventually end. Whatever comes into being will go out of being. Nothing in life is permanent. What we think we have will go away.
So, with this in mind, dive in to this thing called life. Live freely and creatively. Reach for the stars and meet your dreams. Since everything is changing anyway, we truly have nothing to lose.