Recently, or rather lately as the title states, I have experienced this somewhat ludicrous feeling that I’m dying or about to die, at least. Yes, I may have been overreacting to that sickness I had and yes, I’m also stressfully stressed but why on Earth will I feel that way? And of all the times, why now?
In a weird way, even I don’t even know the answer myself.
I mean, in the past years, I have experienced way more hardships than I experienced in these past couple of months but it seems as though these past couple of months have led me to think about the future and what it holds for me. For the first time in my life, I’ve gone from a guy who’s saved from extinction to a guy that is seemingly in the stocks, begging for mercy and just wishing for the restless torment to stop. I know that we got nothing to fear but fear itself but… I’m scared.
I’m scared of what my grades will be this semester after a disastrous four or five month stint in class. I’m scared of what lies in store in my lovelife, if there’s any (Lord, promise me you’ll give me babies, pwetty please). I’m scared of all the hate, the criticisms, the imperfections and all there is in-between those two and I’m finding it very difficult to stand up.
But listen, you can’t keep on sitting down and looking at those successful people. The pursuit of happiness doesn’t start a month from now, tomorrow or even later. It starts at this very moment. And though, albeit most of us are scared and most of us can’t stand standing up yet falling down a few minutes later due to criticism, remember that nothing came to those who didn’t try. For worrying will only get us so far. Worrying will just lead us to our own downfall. Worrying is worthless.
So if you feel anxiety now, pull-back a bit and relax. Drink a cup of coffee or something. Clear your mind. Go out with your friends or better yet just go out. Start hoping again. That’s what I did. And I’m slowly and surely regaining my form again.
I guess we all shouldn’t be scared, I mean, this is life. We must be responsible for our actions and we just gotta live with every moment we’ve got and be confident that there’s a world out there that’s destined for us. Hope my friends, believe.
PS: Happy 300th post to me! The next celebratory post will be on my 500th post so it’ll take a while. Anyway, as promised, you’ll be getting posts with .gifs soon! Stick and stay for that. Taglish posts and a new theme shall also be in order! Yipee!
July 21, 2012 - a night where I was supposed to enjoy a night of not-so-drunk (or partially drunk, partially sober or whatever they call it) partying, I actually did enjoy it though I must tell, it wasn’t really enjoying at first.
To tell you the truth, I am (and I will never be, with epic conviction) not a fan of people who drink. I can learn to accept who do drink but I will forever ponder on the fact on why they do drink. I mean, yeah,they’ll call it social drinking, party drinking and ‘OMFG-lez-drink’ or some other fancy title but I will always refer to it as simply drinkin’ booze ‘cause I simply don’t get the idea of drinking something that will actually make you tipsy and, when taken in gratuitous amounts, will make you highly susceptible to falling in the ground and being, let’s say, a floor rug. Some say (and by that I mean, most guys I talk to) that they drink for temporary dementia and yes, I needed a psychological term for that to prove a point; but yes, I do understand that they want to forget something but dude, wake up, you gotta learn to accept stuff. Drinking at one night then remembering the next day, with a severe hangover, won’t get you anywhere. Booze won’t move you on, so man up and start acceptin’!
Anyway, ‘nuff of the ranting and more on the events! After the party,(yes I won’t go into the actual details of a party ‘cause débuts are boring to be honest) which actually ended pretty early for a début at 11:00PM, here comes the “I’m going to kill you all” part sponsored by yours truly.
If you didn’t start reading here, I’m sort of going to tell you something obvious as seen in the picture above. My friends were not-so in the right mindset. They were drunk. And no, they weren’t just 2 or 3 guys who quietly got into our service van and slept soundly on the road-trip. They were not 3, 4 or 5 extremely out-of-this-world enigmas wrecking your brains, moving around and shouting all over the place, but 9 1/2 individuals (one was kind of talking like he’s sober but he’s tipsy too)! Not to mention (and sorry for the term) they’re puking all over the place and they were walking zombies when we’ve reached the overnight place. I must really give kudos to those slept early and wasn’t a pain in the butt like one of my friends (link’s his Tumblr, he’s awesome) but yeah, I still really despise ‘em a bit for drinkin’.
But y’know what? I can’t hate ‘em for that. I can’t hate ‘em for drinking though it’s against my way of living. I just can’t ‘cause they’re my friends. I must accept ‘em and care for ‘em and I can’t be angry at them forever because of one night that they seriously unleashed everything both literally and not-so literally. They’re my friends and as they’ve been with me all along my challenges (and clumsiness) at the past, I will be there for ‘em in they’re challenges too and when they’re, y’know, drunk. And oh yeah, before I forget…
Happy 18th Cara! Cheers ~
tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
Canada or Australia! I seriously want to see ‘em mounties in Canada and them Koalas (and Kangaroos) in Australia! :)
Seriously, shut up.
Probably the bro-truth law right here.
I have always been fond of ranting. I have not been fond, however, of ranting at my own teacher.
Don’t get me wrong, she literally accepted everything I say and I mean everything. I applaud her open mindedness, her poise to give her comments despite my ever-active mouth running against her profession (and the profession of the professor I’m ranting about) and her ability to calm me down and actually inspire me to stand up and actually make something happen and not just sit there. Most importantly though, she lit up the passion that lay inside of me in a way that wasn’t really expected, which probably is the reason I ended up really saying what I needed to say in my Theories of Personality subject.
Personality, per say, is a good subject. It teaches about the different approaches on how one psychologist can define a person’s various personalities. It’s supposed to be an awesome yet quite nerdy experience but in my book, it turns out to be a struggle of egos, a time when minds collide and a time to step-up which brings me to the term avant-garde.
Avant-garde is a French word which is literally translated at advanced guard but why’d I have to borrow some random French word to prove my point? Simple. French makes what I did rather appealing, rather than words like retaliate, desolate, counter-attack which are all but evil when seen from an outside perspective. More importantly though, avant-garde is a word which also translates to vanguard which, as you all know if you’ve been an avid reader of my blog, is one word that has always been implied but never stated. Why you ask? Yet again, I answer that it is simple.
If you’ve ever read the word vanguard in the dictionary, it simply means defending something. Remember when I said that my Personality class is a struggle of egos? That’s where defending something comes to play. I want to defend my friends from the ego of my professor and y’know what I did? I stood up for my friends though perhaps I did not defend them but I merely proved a point that I am more than willing to risk myself for them to freely say their opinion in a class that is supposed to be a world of questions, not a war of wits.
I fight for democracy but most of all, I fight for my friends. No one can hurt them or look down on them while I’m here, ever.
PS: Much more not so serious posts coming soon! Remember, 300th post marks a .gifs and more interactive stuff so stick and stay for that. Cheers ~